Yep, yesterday was a doozy and I don't want to go into all the particulars, but I can openly and honestly admit that I turned to food. It took me hours to get to the point and fighting myself. I felt the urge...the need...the want to consume the food to hide the feelings. I felt them. I knew them all too well. I recognized them and I attempted to do things to keep my mind where it needed to be on myself and loving me not eating junk food.
I think this is the longest period where I have conciously fought not to eat my emotions. Thinking back on it, I would say it was at least a time period of 7 hours, but in the late moments I got worn down by the old me, the old ways, the comfort that my brain told me I needed and I ate food that I didn't need, that I knew wasn't on my diet, and could have made me sick. Good news - it didn't make me sick. Okay news - I ate more carbs than I wanted to intake yesterday. Bad news - I gave in.
I can't beat myself up over this. If I did I would be no better than my former self of eating emotions and sitting and eating a ton of cookies, cakes, and icecream. Honestly there isn't a better way to describe the old me when I would get depressed and turn to food. Now I know. Now I can avoid, but I think it is unrealistic to say that we can conquer emotional eating in _____ number of days, weeks, months. It is part of us and it is part of the past that continues to haunt even the healthiest of us.
I admitted to my husband (who is currently doing WW) so there are healthier snack options in the house that I had ate a skinny cow icecream. He responded by also eating the skinny cow to even things out with me after a horrible day. Was it a win? Nope - did I feel better while he ate it - YEP! We live, we learn, we control our emotions....we can't let our emotions control us, but it is much easier said than done in the grand scheme of things.