Friday, January 25, 2013

I Admit I Emotionally Ate...

Yep, yesterday was a doozy and I don't want to go into all the particulars, but I can openly and honestly admit that I turned to food. It took me hours to get to the point and fighting myself. I felt the urge...the need...the want to consume the food to hide the feelings. I felt them. I knew them all too well. I recognized them and I attempted to do things to keep my mind where it needed to be on myself and loving me not eating junk food.

I think this is the longest period where I have conciously fought not to eat my emotions. Thinking back on it, I would say it was at least a time period of 7 hours, but in the late moments I got worn down by the old me, the old ways, the comfort that my brain told me I needed and I ate food that I didn't need, that I knew wasn't on my diet, and could have made me sick. Good news - it didn't make me sick. Okay news - I ate more carbs than I wanted to intake yesterday. Bad news - I gave in.

I can't beat myself up over this. If I did I would be no better than my former self of eating emotions and sitting and eating a ton of cookies, cakes, and icecream. Honestly there isn't a better way to describe the old me when I would get depressed and turn to food. Now I know. Now I can avoid, but I think it is unrealistic to say that we can conquer emotional eating in _____ number of days, weeks, months. It is part of us and it is part of the past that continues to haunt even the healthiest of us.

I admitted to my husband (who is currently doing WW) so there are healthier snack options in the house that I had ate a skinny cow icecream. He responded by also eating the skinny cow to even things out with me after a horrible day. Was it a win? Nope - did I feel better while he ate it - YEP! We live, we learn, we control our emotions....we can't let our emotions control us, but it is much easier said than done in the grand scheme of things.

6 comments:

  1. Tis true, one of the most difficult thingsis getting over the mental aspect of overeating. I still struggle. I've been sitting at my desk here trying to talk myself into a "treat" because... no good reason, I just think I want one. Which means I'm likely thirsty. Time to get some water. Thank you for the mental check and reminder!! :)

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  2. A very honest and realistic post. I appreciate your candor. I too am an emotional eater. I can fend off now longer than I have in the past. I've found the only sure thing for me is removing myself from the food area. And I too still give in sometimes. But like you I now know that Im eating because of emotional stress. Own it as you have and move on.

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    1. It is girl scout cookie season and they are a huge temptation - thank goodness they are out of my house for good!

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  3. Admitting that we are not perfect is a very hard thing to do. I have to admit that I was over 700 calories over my allotment yesterday. Having that meal from Hardee's at lunch was totally not what I needed to fuel myself with for the afternoon but I did it and I own that choice. It was one moment of weakness and even though I am much more responsible for what I eat now, I'm not perfect and I do not always make the perfect choice.

    I commend hubbs for doing WW. That was something I was planning on doing once we get settled into our new place. Bad days happen, the good thing now is that we realize it's not the end of the world and that we go on the next day with better choices and we don't look back with contempt for ourselves!

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  4. I can openly and honest admit that it has been a terribly stressful week and I've eaten more than one girl scout cookie - grrr....but working out makes me feel better!

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