Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Where's Lissa Been?

Last week was a doosey. I won't lie it had me down and out. Anxiety was high and my patience was low. Here it was a week before Christmas and I was pouting and feeling physically awful. Spent the weekend on the couch, had a fight with the super cute husband, slept A LOT, and took my anxiety meds while recovering from major sugar drop oh and that flare up of carpel tunnel.

Cool thing about the brace - is that I haven't worn it since surgery in Jan of 2011 - it is so big now!!!!

This week well - IT HAS BEEN SO MUCH BETTER! This week at work is slow as it is the week before the University closes. That doesn't mean my office is dead, but slow is a nice pace especially after I looked like I had lemon pulp from all those lemons still in my hair - not really, but I digress. This week was all about changing perspective. I can't change the circumstances, but I can change how I look at them. I'll admit this is hard for me really hard. I'm quick to anger. I'm quick to yell. I have to conciously not be negative because my nature is like that and I've improved a ton over the last five years, but that doesn't mean that monster I don't like isn't in there ya know.

This weekend though I was recovering I started to do things to help me relax and recover. When I get that way I go to baking or crafting. Crafting won out this weekend an I used my hands to unravel the stress, the pain, and I cried...I felt better and I ended up making some super cute things too! I started with pinterest and let my brain just absorb creativity. I wanted to make something and make sure it wouldn't take me just an hour and didn't want it to cost me any money - voile' Pinterest rocks and I went through my stash of crafts. I had a ton of popsicle sticks, hot glue, and paint. So I made a snowflake (first the white one) then decided I had to have something TCU and wintery for my office. I spent the better part of the afternoon glueing, painting, designing, and pinning stuff to make. I felt so much better after getting my hands dirty...using my talents...releasing all that tension. I was in my zen zone.

Phase 1 of the TCU snowflake

Phase 2 of the TCU snowflake - it needed something!

Finished TCU Snowflake on the door at my office.

1st snowflake I made for our home. Our very first "wreath" since hubs isn't a wreath guy!

 This weekend I also put my heart into two things I love: my etsy shop and writing bylaws. My etsy shop is been giving me so much joy! I love creating things for others and it is like a surprise every time I get an order. I still can't believe people like my stuff and that my shop is growing! I'm so excited and happy so it was nice to put some effort into orders this weekend and start brainstorming about where my shop will go. It is a nice comfort to have something to see for work that I would do anyway! It is a ton of fun.

The second thing I finishd up was writing bylaws for my husbands side company. I finally got to use all those SGA skills I got in college and I was in a zone to write, use my technical writing skills, flesh out rules and regulations. I got all wrapped up in outlines, points, and word usage. It was totally fun and totally nerdy - but it was something I needed and it helped just get me back to thinking clearly especially after how emotional I was.

I'm not going to lie I turned to some emotional eating this weekend. I realized it. I knew it happened an I couldn't go back and undo it, but I could say I recognize the behavior. I had chocolate chips in the house and after fighting with my husband I opened them and ate a few handfuls. Not smart and it didn't soothe me. It could of made me really sick. I know that when I'm more emotional that I need to have "sweets I can eat" in the house so I remembered that I had some healthy pumpkin muffins in the fridge and that I needed to defrost and munch on those. Perfect sweet combo that I needed and that I can eat. I have to remember food isn't going to fix the problem, but I've always been an emotional eater - the size of my stomach doesn't change my brain from going there. It is up to me to do that. So I kept my hands busy so I don't eat.

Even though I had the RH attack last week I am feeling and looking better. My clothes are fitting better which makes me want to weigh in - but I know I'm not for a while. I'm allowing my body to balance back. I want to know the number though - grrrr. I've got my energy back. I've got motivation back. I'm physically thinking clearer with no sugar issues. My skin looks better and is not as dry. I'm sleeping better. I'm able to not come home and go to sleep from exhaustion. All of which is on the right track to a better me!

This week has also led to some amazing blessings. Finances are always tight, but God knew what we needed and provided! I was able to pay it forward as well by assisting in making Christmas from Santa come alive for a special little girl and to help feed not one but two families over the holiday season. I'm so glad that I was able to pass on the real meaning of Christmas and got to live it in my life this year. Both Justin and I are really excited about the opportunity and it made it feel like...we are in the right place...the right time....we are where God wants us both. So that's where I've been...and my week is almost over!

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