One of my new blogger followers MacKensie wrote her womanifesto here and it got me to think and so i went and did some research on the womanifesto. If you head over by clicking the link above you can read about it, but what caught my eye was the definition " A written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, and views of its female author. May include themes of empowerment, independence, self love, consciousness, affirmation, and individual acceptance; your positive beliefs about yourself. Created to give self-described definition in regards to the innate beauty inside of every woman. Yes, even you."
As I was driving to work this morning I was deep in thought about how I described being ok in my own skin the other day. It doesn't happen often as I've been struggling with body image. I wrote about this in late September and you can read that entry here At the end of it all I had to go back to pictures to really see physically where I came from and where I now. I posed the questions "Now when I lay out the pictures and I can't NOT see it. My face, my hands, my stomach, my stance - THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT, but my brain isn't ok with it. Why is there dichotamy of fighting between what I am and who I want to be physically. Where does this fight come from? Does it come from fear? Does it come from unrealistic expectations? Does it come from this illness called obesity? Where does this come from?" These are deep questions that I are almost exestential and it is something I'm struggling with, but when I mentioned to someone the other day that I am comfortable in my skin...I thought where did that come from.
I open my blog yesterday to see this challenge and I thought it would be a theraputic adventure into inspiring myself, empowring myself, being honest and realistic with who I am today, and having a little fun. So here it goes my Womanifesto.
I'm a Good Girl, but don't want to always be a rule following, manual reading, standard operating procedure kind of gal.
I want to be a BAD girl you know the kind that it totally intelligent, nerdy, but rocks leather and walks around like she owns the place. That is my bad girl persona, she doesn't come out often.
I will work my way up the food chain of office politics by doing good work.
I will study, learn, train to be the best that I can be.
I will ask the question that is on everyone else's mind.
I will be the voice for the person in the back that will never raise their voice to be heard.
I will claw, kick, and fight with words that are powerful to advocate for myself.
I will stay quiet when I need to listen.
I will yell no scream to be heard.
I will protect my heart.
I will protect myself, but I don't wear a mask anymore.
I have the right to not wear spanks.
I have the right to be married yet wear the pants in my family.
I have the right to be an alpha female and be proud of it.
I have the right to want more for myself, my gender, my fellow women.
I have the right to vote and I should use it.
I have the right to tell my leaders what I want.
I have the right to share my ideas
I have the right to like my body one day and hate it the next
I have the right to not like the fact people make fun of fat people especially be I was once fat...obese..morbidly overweight and people made fun of me.
I have the right to love hello kitty and sleep with a stuffed animal even if I'm 31.
I have the right to hate the fact the world is diverse but there is one view we all must follow.
I have the right to think what I want
I have the right to believe what I want
I have the right to try things out...until I own that idea.
I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for someone.
I don't think I'm beautiful, but I'm beautiful to someone.
I'm not skinny, but I appear to pass as normal and not "fat"
I'm not smart, I just apply myself and learn all the time.
I love to read, but only when I'm not told to!
I'm not innocent by any means, but everyone thinks I am.
My inner self wants to be released, but there is too much at risk to be that woman...the one no one expects me to be.
I want to be a princess
I want to be a jewel
I want to be special
I want to be somebody's everything
I am a princess
I am a jewel...I'm unique after all
I am special, there is no other person like me
Can I be someone's everything? It will take a lifetime for me to figure that one out.
It will be a great journey.