The last 3 months has been a lot of change. One of the most awesome changes is coming off medication. One of the hardest medications to come off of has been my effexor that I take for my depression and anxiety. At first I was made to come off the higher dosage because my stomach couldn't physically handle the medicine. It made me too sick. Two months in I was forced to lower the does again for nausea. Now I'm on a 37.5 mg dose once a day down from 150 mg twice a day. I chose to stay on the 37.5 dose an extra month as I knew this month would be extra stressful and I didn't want to add more stress to my body. This past week has been really hard. It is the first time in a very long time I've felt the anxiety come back or felt real stress. Usually my medication allows me to realize that the anxiety is coming but I feel it and dismiss it. Now I feel it and I have to work through it. Sometimes the stress comes and it is fast. I don't realize it until I'm knee deep in it and then I'm like oh suck!
This past week I've seen two effects of the lowered medication. First has been this series of being exhausted and can't tell if I'm exhausted from doing 5000 things or from being depressed. Secondly sleep is quick and easy and when I'm taking my sleeping medications I am sleeping so hard I can't wake up. This is concerning to me so my doc is letting me cut my sleep med in half and i've stopped taking my xanax at night. I'm sleeping okay and I'm getting rest, but I'm still trying to regulate how I feel and new feelings.
Seems this is a season of change in my life and whatever medication regime comes my way I will embrace it and learn about myself through it. I've taken some time off of therapy to allow myself just to be, but it might be time for me to return to therapy to make it through this phase of coming off medication and transitioning into something new.