Thursday, November 18, 2010

It's finally....setting in

I was laying in bed last night before my husband and I fell asleep talking about the upcoming surgery. I am not nervous at all at this point about the surgery. I'm in a mindset of bring it on! I am so overjoyed to be in the process and to see the end of the tunnel. I was talking to Justin about things that may concern me and don't get me wrong I am a little concerned about the pureed food stage, but the only thing I worry about is getting an IV after the endoscopy experience this summer. Justin promised that he would back me up when I go to the hospital because I only want a charge nurse or someone very experienced dealing with the IV. I do not want to be vampire food for the nurses again. I really don't think my anxiety could take that again. It was just a mess. Outside of that area I am really geared up, excited, and not too too anxious about being put through this waiting period.

Poor Justin is way concerned about being able to eat in front of me because I won't be able to eat real food for a bit. I know he is going to feel for me and that he is going to want to feed me when really protein shakes and liquids will be my friend. I'm not worried about being around food as of right now. I think there will be a time when I don't want to go out to eat or go to a restaurant for eating of hanging out, but I think it will be at that time that I need to remember my goal of being healthy and having to go through this is the way to reach the ultimate goal of good health, better self esteem and self loving. It really will be a lifestyle change that I think will be good for both of us.

I know that both of us will become more active. I have to exercise I don't have a choice after surgery and Justin is the best friend / partner / husband extroidinair that will get to go along with me. I know it will be rough on him, but I don't think that will last that long. It also really makes me look and examine how much both of our lives is going to change in eating, hanging out with friends, how we see food and take food in. We will be experiencing a big change as a family. I'm really glad he is willing to go through changes with me. I know that I totally lucked out in that department.

Change is upon the Bettis family and we are on the road to a healthier version of us. It is a daunting task, but in the long run I think our lives will be better overall, that is my hope anyway.

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