Saturday, October 9, 2010

slowing down a bit

i want to have my gastric bypass surgery so badly, but i've chosen to take it a little slower. i'm still 5 steps away and i'm making progress, but i've had to step back a bit to deal with some anxiety issues that have arisen that were not planned. so i'm still being as optimistic as possible, but i'm also very irritated because i don't want to slow down, but know i have to. i'm going ahead with the support group meeting, the psychiatric eval and the doctors appointment and paperwork turn in, but i need to reschedule my sleep study and get that taken care of . i'm just taking it one day at a time and know that right now my anxiety and living day to day is more important than rushing a life changing event. so i'm breathing and realizing how much i've gotten done rather than looking at what i haven't. it is helping a little bit, but i'm still very very encouraged.

as i get closer and closer to due date of applying i've come up with a number of new questions that i have:
1. what medicines that i currently take can be crushed? do they come in liquid?
2. i wonder when i'll stop taking my metaformin after surgery?
3. where does one get a mortel and pestal?
4. still up in the air about protein powder is better?

just questions that are arising in my head. i'm apart of a few online support groups and i've got connected to a number of women that have gone through this process with my surgical center and different docs. one of my friends reported to loose 112 lbs since july. can't fathom me going from a 4x to an xl like that in 3 months, but secretly i make a wish that it works like that for me. my health would be so much better. i would be siting at around 190 instead of 300 and man that would be a blessing.

right now its finding the balance between the eating with the medical increase of scripts for my anxiety. ahhhh why do they have to make us hungry!!!!! i wish mine would just make me not hungry.

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