Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Almost 31 "Mid-life" Crisis

I've had a revelation that I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Now after your down laughing, because let's face it, this is humorous....let me explain why I think that. I've been working hard since leaving college to obtain a number of goals that I equate to being a successful woman. These goals do not include getting married, but I have to admit staying married is one heck of an accomplishment in an of I'm going to add it to the list below.

1. Obtain a graduate degree = DONE I have my Master's in Higher Education
2. Have a successful relationship = DONE I've been married for 3 years now
3. Buy a new car = DONE I finally bought my cube in Feb 2011
4. Take a vaction = DONE I finally got to take a week off work last week in my career job
5. Start my doctoral work = DONE I'm in the midst of my 3rd class
6. Get my dream job = half done because I work at my dream school (TCU) but this is where the mid-life crisis starts to rear its head
7. Be healthy = WELL ON ITS WAY hello WLS!!!!! Started Jan 10, 2011

There are a few other things that are on my list, but I'm not quite ready to share, but they are important and within my reach. You see a dear friend told me when I got my job at TCU that "I had gotten everything I wanted at 30"...when I first heard it I didn't take it seriously, but now after sitting on it for a while she is right almost! I have an amazing career. I love my job. I love the school I work for and the people I work with at TCU. I love my field. I love my students. I pretty much can't complain about my benefits or life is pretty much content and here comes the but....BUT WHAT NOW!?!?!?!?! I've been a workaholic for as long as I've known me....and for the last decade I've been working in some capacity in student affairs, now I've taken on a new role within academic advising, but where do I go from here? What do I see myself doing? Where am I going now? This is a question I don't have an answer to at all. I'm kinda stuck. Which leads me to school....

So I've been working on my doctorate with Walden, but it doesn't feel right. Part of me knows that I don't need anymore education yet I want it. I can do alot with the degrees I have, but what am I going to do with all this down time? I love school. I love learning. I love teaching....but I don't know if that doctorate is really for me. It doesn't mean the dream is dying it just means right now the dream isn't working and I'm ok with that. It has taken me a long time and a very long struggle to come to this conclusion so I'm thinking about switching to another Masters Degree program at TCU where I could go to school for FREE minus fees and books. This would allow me to gain more graduate experience, go to class in person, meet more people, and not have to teach myself. I also think this switch will allow me to teach which I'm thinking may be something I want to do in addition to my student affairs gig. I really think working at the community college level and working with transition classes into college would be great and challenging I just need to go after it. So how do I do it? I found a job description, now I just need to get my stuff together and see what happens.

I also thought about getting more involved with students throughout the university. I adored Frog Camp so I signed up to be a Leadership Connections mentor in the fall and I think that will provide me with some more student contact as well. I am also getting involved in an amazing church and have met some great women there. Suddenly my life is opening up in a new way and I'm enjoying it and all the new things coming...but I still feel unsure/uncertain/lost if you will as I float an don't feel yet grounded. I'm wondering if one of the reasons I don't feel so grounded is that because I'm in between things. I feel like I've been living in temporary housing with not fully unpacking for the last 6 months and I'm just so ready to decorate, create a home, and live in my new apt! I'm also ready to start new adventures and new projects. I need a pick me up. I started to pick myself up with my bump in the weight loss, but I want a pick me up in my life....if change needs to be made I can't blame anyone but myself to make it. So maybe my mid-life crisis isn't so much a crisis but a path where I need to re-evaluate and make some changes all for the better!

1 comment:

  1. We sound in similar situations. I feel like I'm stuck and at a crossroads as well! Just be open to new thing coming your way and new experiences! Pray and seek His guidance in what He has in store for you next... That's what I'm doing :)
    Let me know how it all goes!