Thursday, April 19, 2012

Blah Day

Iced Coffee for me!
Depression and anxiety is something that can sneak up on you. You think you keep it at bay and then voila' it raises its ugly heads which leads me to today. I am having "one of those days" that I don't have too often anymore, but when I do I feel it. I went home last night from my "grown up" date with my husband and his friends feeling blah. I didn't feel comfy hanging out with the group, and I did try, but I let my mouth get ahead of me and I allowed others to hit points that made me angry, frustrated, and annoyed. I really don't like talking politics and economics with others at all...heck even my husband and I agree not to talk about them so I avoid it at all costs when I can because let me be honest I have a short fuse for stupid add upon that the last month of work with back to back appointments of 8 hour days with students who can't seem to register and follow procedure, not sleeping well ( my 3 am to 6 am sleep shift is making me crazy), and being all around just pooped out did not bode well for me last night. So I left feeling angry, frustrated, annoyed, and like I embarrassed my husband. Great right!

This morning I woke up feeling blah because I didn't sleep all that well again. For some reason from 3 am to 6 am I think I hear my alarm, I wake up there is nothing and I'm dreaming. Dreaming for me is unusual on the meds I take so I'm thinking something is going on and I might need an adjustment. It just isn't right. So I wake up feeling blah and not feeling all around peachy. I'm at work and though I love my job I want to be anywhere but here today because I'm not the happy go lucky advisor I'm the I want to sleep and spend time to myself advisor and please don't ask me another stupid question. Yes, I will answer it, maybe I need some coffee? I dunno but this funk needs to leave me because tomorrow does equal happiness and I don't want to be blah when I see my dear friend!

So instead of letting the funk darken my day, I'm going to snap out of it and brighten my day! I'm going to look forward to special things, special memories, and moments to rejoice in being alive, enjoying the beautiful TX weather, and embracing the moment where I can live and breathe and control the depression and anxiety over it controlling me.

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