Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Compliments...they feel odd

Ironically I am going to post about a topic that I've been reading a lot about lately in blogs and online communities with WLS but its about compliments. I have to admit I'm used to being invisible. I'm used to being ignored and I'm used to not having people compliment me or notice me because of what I look like. It is a very unusual feeling and I'm learning how it feels. It is something new and it is something that is part of the change.

First, it is odd to be complimented in general for my appearance. My husband isn't the kind of man that tells me I'm beautiful everyday or tells me what I wear is cute. I know he thinks these things, but these are things that aren't told me verbally. It used to bother me, but I learned that he talks through actions and not words. With that, over my life I've never been really complimented on my style or how I look. If I was looked at I always felt I was being examined to see how "whale like" I looked liked since my high school nick name wasn't as positive as it could have been. So its all out weird.

Now, I did prepare myself for the "wow you've lost weight comments" but I didn't prepare myself on how they would make me feel. At first it was wierd. Then it started to be odd. Now it makes me feel self concious only because after I started to lose weight I began changing things I was wearing and such and was called vain. It made me feel bad about feeling good about myself. I've never been called vain for appearance and it made me super uber self concious. It is something that I am working through.

My self conciousness tends to fall over in how I am dressing. I don't know what looks good or looks right now. It is something that isn't coming from a vain place, but it is something that I'm learning to dress this body. I haven't felt the want or need to be pretty or to wear things that fit, but now I am wanting to. I know that I want to have clothes that fit and not sag. I want pants that fits and show that I have legs and not thunder thighs. I'm still self concious about my tummy area, but that will come in time. All in time.

I guess I'm learning that when people compliment me it is a good thing. They are validating work that I am doing for me. They also make me feel good. I'm glad people are noticing me and I'm not so invisible. I've learned to love myself and become more visible to me so I guess it is a good thing that I am becoming more visible to others too. Its a whole new world.

So, thank you for the compliments. If I look uncomfortable or I shy away...I'm just learning to smile and feel good about myself and it is taking me a bit to get used to, but I appreciate it. I couldn't of done it without my cheerleaders!

No comments:

Post a Comment