I've really hit this wall of nausea lately and my medicines only make it worse. I hate being nauseous and I hate when I'm nauseous that it limits my activity. Pepto isn't cutting it so I've gone to some over the counter nausea medicine. Thank goodness for my mother teaching me about Emetrol when she was prego with my little sister. Emetrol is amazing and a little "swig" helps when I take my meds daily. I'm hoping that this will pass, but I'm just being greatful that being nauseated has not led to throwing up. Despite the nausea food has been doing well this week. I've started eating some raw veggies. I can comfortably eat raw little carrots. I love them as a snack in the afternoon and my nutrionist is totally ok with me becoming a mini rabbit for a handful of them with some ranch on the side! It has been a nice little addition that allows me to really chew again :-)
Tonight I am determined to get out and do a little exercise based on how my tummy is feeling. What really sucks is that I want to exercise, but with the nausea and the dizziness that can accompany it, it really isn't safe using work out equipment or pushng my heart rate and trying to walk on the track. My body misses it, and I want to do it, so hopefully today ends well and I can head out to personal training. If nothing else get my cardio in! I know that exercising will be the key in kicking the next 25 lbs and I am so motivated to be down that when I head out in April to try bridesmaids dresses on for Carolyn's wedding. Next goal is to be 225 lbs and I'm working on meeting that goal. It is just a little slow this week.
I think that is something people around me didn't realize about my surgery is that there is a signifigant amount of work involved. Yes, the pouch does alot. It keeps me from eating like I used to and eating foods like I used to, but all in all I have to watch what goes in and what stays in and the amounts etc, but I need to do my part and work out. 1) i feel better and 2) i'm working on converting fat to muscle which is needed and it helps out with all the co-morbidities I am fighting overall.
This week I go in for my 1 month chloesterol check up. I really hope my chloesterol is lower because I have been doing my plan and exercising. I don't want to be put on medication for it. I also am having my B12 and D3 checked. Here is hoping that those have increased signifigantly so that the surgeon is happy that I'm doing the right things. I'm taking my vitamins faithfully and I am feeling so much better so I'm hoping its a combination that we both can live with.
Something that I have been noticing is how my anxiety is under control. Lately I had a really bad week and I realized for the first time in years that I can have a sad moment or be sad about something and not be depressed or anxious. I think it is the first time I've felt heart ache and pain in the sadness category that I could recognize that was associated with no anxiety or depression. I was just sad. In an odd way this made me really happy because I know I've come even further in my treatment as anxiety patient! It has been 3 years know since that fateful day in 2009 where I fell to the ground in NE and started super treating me as a human being and dealing with anxiety and depression. It has been a 3 year journey that has taught me so much and ended in me having gastric bypass. I can now recognize feelings, know that i have a range of them, found a comfortable schedule to live amongst my anxiety, deal with stress much better, have a sleeping schedule, and have put away demons finally to bed. It is a whole new feeling in this new body this new life...this new journey. Its quite the ride. I still can't believe its been 3 years!