It has been an amazing 7 weeks. There has been ups and downs with some great middles in betweens. Overall it has truly been a whirl wind of change in my life. This blog has been alot about reflections and preparedness, but today's blogging is about realization.
For the first time I finally see it. I realize that I am physically smaller! Last night I took my 7 week pictures and put them up on facebook. I usually put them up with the current status of my weight and move on because in my head I get that "i'm shrinking," but last night it hit me. I am physically smaller. I look so different. It blew me away!!!!! So when you look at the pictures today these are the pictures that really impacted me. The grey shirt picture is from week 2 post surgery. The black shirt is from week 7. My profile of my body has completely changed. I don't even recognize myself. Last night when I posted I had to take a double take. I really couldn't grasp before just lbs or the inches lost, but looking at pictures really blew me away. I was so excited it just made me smile last night.
Knowing my body size and realizing how big I am or how small I am (depending on how you look at it) has been a whole new realization. For example I realize I can now slide into a booth at restaurants and not squeeze in, I know this in my head as fact, but everytime I slide in I still hope that I fit. I realize that I am getting smaller and it can be seen in my clothing size, but I still fear that when I put on things that have been too too tight that I fear I won't be able to fit in them then realize they are getting too big. I realize that I am getting smaller and healthier, but the fear of the old sick and heavier Lissa is someone that is still sitting on my shoulder. I realize that she will be there for a while and that I'm rewriting my own memories and it is more fun to rewrite those memories than deal with the older sick version of myself. So I keep going because I realize that I'm changing. I hope I'm going to be a pretty beautiful butterfly.
I knew looking at your pictures posted that you were changing as well, but seeing these two pictures together....Wow! There was no reference point before of the extreme difference. In the week 7 picture, you are wearing leggings and you look so much smaller. It's amazing the way our bodies can change over time, I'm loving keeping up with your transformation!
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