Friday, October 14, 2011

Depression Fog...& Eating

Let's be honest - medicine changes can effect the appetite and this medicine change has been no different. I have been way hungry in away that I haven't been in 9 month since surgery. So here I am admitting it - I am hungry! This is something new that I am having to deal with on my diet and life plan and I do know that when the meds settle down that this will pass and there won't be such an issue, but today right now it is so I'm compensating as best as I can. I've increased my liquid intake to great proportions, munching on veggies and fruits - i can't thank my husband enough for getting me squash this week which is low in calorie and high in water contact for the tummy. I have also been conquering a sweet tooth by being frugal and shopping and cooking through my pantry. Last week we had 3 really ripe bananas and I ended making up this recipe : I made a few changes to the recipe - I added some sugar free caramel torini syrup and a little bit of cinnamon; i also took out the nuts because neither my husband or i eat them. When they were all cool I also took a 1/2 tsp of peanut butter and spread on top of the muffins. They were delicious! Unusually I love to eat muffins hot, but these banana muffins are much better cooled off. Since I ate a few and my students ate the rest I take the sugar free conversion went pretty well!

I also went to town this week and make some strawberry muffins with a kick. I bought a store bough brand low sugar strawberry muffin mix (kroger brand) and mixed it with low fat milk. I put half the batter in the bottom of the cups and added a squirt of sugar free strawberry jam in the middle and added the rest of the batter on the top. The muffins turned out really well and the jelly gave the sweetness I wanted without the sugar. Even though Justin has only gotten to have one taste - there is still one left honey...I promise!

Today as I was at home dealing with anxiety fog and medicine hang over from hospital shots - I thought I wanted some yummy protein. I found a recipe for a "quiche" with no carbs so I went to my pantry and found some turkey bacon, eggs, green beans, and milk. I took the bacon cut it up really small and sauteed it in some sugar free maple sryup. YUM! Then I mixed the eggs, milk, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and green peppers. On the recipe it recommended to use muffin liners and I'm glad I did because if not I would of scrubbed forever. First, I cooked the bacon and then added to the egg mixture and and poured it into muffin tins. Note to self - smaller quiches cook easier and work better. Second, you have to play with the cooking time because the recipe said 350 @ 17 min and I was at 350 @ 30 minutes to get it cooked through. I took them out and cooled them off and put them in bags. Great to be nuked later (and of course I love ketchup so I added a little ketchup to the side!) In the future - a great way to make easy breakfast that can be made a pre-frozen. Second - you can add a ton of cheese and other lean meats to this as well. Definitely will be making these again.

So cooking aversion worked a tad, but to be honest this bout of anxiety and depression sucks. I've been down. I've been blue. I haven't been happy mostly and to get me to smile is a lot. I've accepted this reality and I'm ready to break free. The last three days have been the worse in over 3 years, but there are good times and bad times and this has been a bad time. In the weeks to come I need to focus on feeling better no matter how blue and focus on eating well and balanced and not being perfect. WLS is a journey and right now my journey is filled with blues, greys, and sad days, but I'm going to hold onto those happy moments to make sure that I get through this normal bout of S.A.D.

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