Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sigh of Relief Burst of Excitement

There is a sense of bubblyness coming from around me today. I am glowing like when I fell in love with my husband. I've completed all of these steps towards surgery. I didn't think I could do it. I didn't know if the steps would ever end especially after the last few weeks and the bout of depression/anxiety I've been fighting. Nothing is worse than to hit a plateau where you are already down, but then have to muster up self esteem to make your low self esteemed body get out of bed and go to a doctor to be put under the microscope, but I made it through. I survived. Onto the next challege in my route to get booted from Suvivor: the obese island season.

All joking aside, I am really proud of myself. It isn't often that I will take a real moment to reflect and celebrate like this. Today I sat in my office and took pics of my finished to do list and a happy pic of myself to post on facebook. I posted in my online support groups and shared that excitement with friends that know the same feeling that I had today. It has been a neat realization for me and my husband is so wonderful. He got up when I came home from the sleep study, which I will get to in a minute, and hugged me. He looked at me and said "you are all done!" I just wanted to high five him and give him a big kiss. He has been so supportive and keeps me going when it gets rough and I cry. He is my biggest supoorter and I couldn't do it without him.

Exercise front has begun. After going to the WLS Support Group I really got a fire lit under me to start doing it more regulary so I heal better. Enter the wii fit. I started sunday night and will be doing my first full work out tonight. My goal is to be more active and to feel good. I might not be able to do the full set, but my goal is to loose 10 lbs in the next month as I set it on the wii fit. It is my hope that working towards that goal and getting on the board atleast 20 min a day will get me closer to a healthier me. I just can't be so winded walking up stairs. It is so embarrassing to huff and puff. The thought of not doing that keeps this clear in my mind. Let's add in exercising the last of the 6 things I started out to do! Check mate I'm going to come up with a new list :-).

The sleep study last night was very interesting. First, I felt like an avatar because though i'm not 13 feet tall and blue I did have this mane of wires that resemebled their hair that lit up on the bottom! It was less uncomfortable than I thought. They said if I had severe apnea I would be put on a cpap machine last night, but I did not have a cpap so that is good news. If i have sleep apnea it is very mild, I'll see what the doc says on the 1st. So after I am at the clinic that looks like a posh hotel suite, I get all hooked up to my Avatar hood. I'm clipped everywhere from head to toe, velcro belts, glue, and all that jazz they tell you to sleep. Now on my sleep meds I sleep pretty well, but I didn't sleep straight through. I woke up atleast 5 or 6 times. It was crazy! But it is over and I'm checking that off my list.

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