I'll admit it I'm sensitive about my weight, but I'm also realize that there are people in the world that 1) have never been overweight 2) have had a bad experience with being overweight and have won the war with their weight 3) have preconceived notions about being overweight and 4) do not think that overweight individuals are attracted. It is a harsh reality, but one that I deal with and I'm sure that many if not all overweight people feel that they are the only 1 going through this where there are so many of us sharing the same feelings. I recently had a student come to me about an issue with someone stating something offensive about overweight people. At first I was upset as she was and I even got a little angry, but then I realized that individuals that may say offensive things about overweight individuals may not know how they are hurting those of us who are "fat." They might not realize the issues behind the weight and their assumptions and generalizations do not necessarily fit all of us. We are each an individual with our own indivudal fat journey.
My journey is unique and though many don't believe me, my body is rebelling against me and I'm fighting back as hard as possible. I'm working towards being healthy, but when you are fighting an illness that makes it harder for your body to loose weight you feel as if you are always fighting an uphill battle. One day I'll get up the hill, but no matter what others think I know the truth. Sometimes its hard to hold onto the truth no matter what you do. It is easier for me in some ways because I have the privilege to have found a man that loves me inside and out just how I am no matter what the outside package looks like! But I know when I was dating it was a struggle to be able to realize that I could find someone that would accept my overweight rolls, my lane bryant shopping, and realizing that I was beautiful inside and out but uniquely. It took me 27 years to find him, but I did. It has been amazing thing and he is the most supportive man I know, but I also remember the nights of crying myself to sleep thinking I would always be alone, I hated the clothes I wore, and I didn't like myself. Years can change things and I'm glad they are on an upswing!