Sunday, September 19, 2010

bored and wanting to eat

It is late and I am still up. Can't sleep these days with the tendentious in my knees, but as I'm starting to get sleepy I thought I would post and get some things off my mind. Here I am sitting in my living room and I'm drinking my yummy water and wanting to eat so badly. I'm not hungry. I've eaten my share of the food for the day, but I'm up wanting to fall asleep and kinda bored and therefore I want to eat. I wonder what I'm going to replace these times with in the future. It is one of those things where I feel as if I'm going to miss my emotional/bored eating...or will I realize that it just isn't a good habit and move away from it. I really don't know, but it is another question that will soon be answered.

I made it through the weekend soda free and it looks like the rest of the week will be doable. I've hit a rut where water just doesn't taste good unless its super cold and with ice, so I'm thankful that I have an ice machine on my floor these days as well as I'm blessed with my drink mixes. I've actually started carrying them in my purse to put in water at restaurants. I realized I shouldn't suffer because I'm changing the way I eat. I can only drink water at most restaurants anyway so I might as well enjoy it.

Tomorrow I'm off to my weight loss support group. I'm really excited. I'm ready to meet new people. I'm ready to meet people that are going through what I'm currently dealing with and excited to see what I have to look forward to in the coming months. I am also excited to check something off my surgery to do list! One step closer. One step closer.

This week is light on doctors. Weight loss support group and possible regular therapy. Next week I'll add in the ortho doc for my knees and I have my sleep study coming up. I'm ready to wrap up these loose ends and get going. I need to check in with vandy about a few pieces of paperwork that are due up there, but until I'm ready to apply for my surgery I'm in a holding pattern as I'm meeting those requirements. I've spaced them out through the middle of October so that I'm not sitting with a ton of idle time on my hands, but I do wish the next month and half would fly by. I think I might just count the days and put the countdown on the wall. Here is to WLS!!!!!

even though I am fighting these new little things and making changes like looking for the right dis solvable multi vitamin I'm starting to realize that it is REAL...this isn't a joke and I'm working towards it. I'm starting to daydream about new clothes, smaller sizes, not breathing hard as I walk up steps, and not hurting when I bend over. I am constantly encouraged by stories I see on tv and through tv shows. I like to hear success stories and stories of struggle. Now I want to get connected online as well as I think this will help my recovery in the long run. I've started to browse through some sites and see what one may help me. A lot of the nurses at Vandy have suggested this in addition to the in person groups and I like the idea of having someone to talk to 24/7. It is a whole new world...and though it isn't quite clear, I am getting dreamy glimpses in the future.

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